The End of an Era

~Nursing Benji at the ocean last summer.~

This morning I nursed Benji for the last time. It is truly bittersweet...he's 31 months old....it is time for both of us. What a crazy journey this breastfeeding road has been. I've been pregnant and or nursing for 6 years this month. 6 Years! That's longer than I was in college for! For 6 years my body has been shared with at least one baby! I am ready to have my breasts be mine again....to wear pretty bras & to wear any top I want regardless of how easily accessible my boobs are!

I always knew I would nurse my babies....for me it was a no brainer: free, always available, better for the envrionment (no packaging on these tatas!) and best of all better for my babes! What I didn't realize is how nursing my babies would lead me to new friendships, a complete respect for my body, attachment parenting, and being a full-fledged lactivist! I never thought I'd nurse in all the places I have: the backseat of a van in Ireland (leaning over the carseat!), every restaurant in laconia, planes, trains, boats, dressing rooms, the library, the park and basically anywhere I was...I've pumped at work....I've pumped at home...I've pumped in Paris, Barcelona and Madrid....I've even paid to use the facilities to pump at the Gare de Lyon in Paris.....and than sadly flushed it down the toilette. My breasts and the milk they produced have become so commonplace in my life....everyone has had more than their share of an eyeful.

I've never been harassed out in public....the only people who have ever harassed me are my own children for more...or to have them both out at once (which can be tricky--not to mention chilly in cold weather)! I've had those quiet nursing moments where you stare at your growing baby and amaze at how you are nourishing him, I've woken in the night every 3 hours for 6 years to soothe a little one back to sleep with warm milk and a mama-nipple, I've calmed tantrums, eased booboos, and re-connected over a nursing spell. Those days are behind me. I have fond memories. I am ready to move forward...

As for Benjamin....he's given up the days with little fuss....I am apprehensive for the night....he seems at peace at being the "beeeeg boy" now. For awhile I was nervous because he kept telling me he was the "babeeeee." What he doesn't understand now, is that he will always be my babeeeeee. He doesn't need to nurse anymore to show it.